心灵的震撼陶辛老师的歌剧欣赏的最后一课体系

【心灵有约】乍看待灵魂伴侣？What do you think of your soulmate?

We have heard the word “soul mate” in our daily life， and different people have different understandings of it.

日常生活中我们都听说过“灵魂伴侣”这个词，不同的人对此也有不同的理解。

The concept of soulmates can be a polarizing one， especially depending on how the term is defined.

灵魂伴侣是一个两极分化的概念，这尤其取决于定义它的方式。

Understandably， it may seem implausible that theres one and only one！ ideal match for each of us out there.

可以理解的是，似乎不是每个人都能有且只有一个！理想伴侣。

However， if your definition of a soulmate is broader — someone you have a strong connection with， who gives you a sense of peace and rightness and yet challenges you to grow and be the best version of yourself — its a lot easier to buy into， especially because you can have many of those encounters throughout your life.

A soulmate relationship is one where you connect easily and instantly. But it doesnt mean the relationship comes without effort.

灵魂伴侣关系指的是你可以很容易且迅速和对方建立联系，但这并不意味着不费力气就能获得这种关系。

The limitations of this idea are mainly that people think they won“t have to work on their relationship if they met their soulmate. The truth is， no matter how happy you are or how compatible you are with someone， you will always have to be careful that you act lovingly and that you don”t begin to take your partner for granted.

这种想法的局限在于，人们认为如果遇到了自己的灵魂伴侣，就不必再努力经营双方的关系了。但事实是，不管你多幸福，和那个人相处多融洽，仍然要小心。要充满爱心，不能把与对方的关系视作理所当然的事。

The idea of soulmates may give people unrealistic expectations about love.

灵魂伴侣这一概念可能会让人们对爱情有不切实际的期望。

People leave relationships in search of that one person ‘they“re meant to be with.’ That”s a fantasy. There is no such thing. People are package deals. There will be aspects of each partner you love and aspects that will drive you crazy. You can trade one person in for a new and improved model， and after the newness wears off， you will be back at square one， needing to learn relationship skills to make love last.

人们离开一段感情是为了寻找 ‘命中注定 ’的那个人，这是个幻想，完全没这回事。人们都爱做一揽子的交易。每一个你爱的人身上都有让你欣赏的地方。你可以放弃一个人，寻找另一个新人，但是等新鲜感过去之后，你又会回到原点，需要学习技巧才能让爱持久。

Soulmates are people that are meant to be together， in spite of the obstacles or adversity they may face.

灵魂伴侣是不论经历多少阻挠与艰辛，都注定要在一起的人。

I personally believe in soulmates. There are some people who are truly meant to be.

我个人相信有灵魂伴侣。有些人确实是命中注定的。

Soulmates still have to pay the bills and deal with medical appointments. They raise kids， and experience the messiness of life and the realities of growing and growing older together. But people who see themselves as two connected souls tend to share a sacred bond.

灵魂伴侣也需支付账单，也要处理医疗预约。他们一起抚养孩子，一起经历生活的混乱，一起成长，一起老去。但是把对方视作灵魂伴侣的两个人往往有一种神圣的纽带联系。

Soulmates are a symbol of the universal hope that someone will love you unconditionally in spite of your flaws and baggage.

灵魂伴侣象征一种普遍的愿望：总有人会忽视你的缺点和包袱，无条件爱你。

While I think hope and symbols are important， I try not to lean into them too hard as they can sometimes take away someones sense of agency in their own situation. Our relationships and future relationships may be influenced but are not determined by what we have or have not experienced， and we can have agency in that process.

尽管我认为希望和象征很重要，但我也努力不要过分偏向它们，因为它们有时会让人失去在自己处境中的使命感。我们经历或没经历过的事情可能会影响我们的关系和将来的关系，但这不是决定性因素。

Soulmates aren“t perfect for each other in every way， but they”re on the same page where it counts.

灵魂伴侣并不会各方面都完美，但却同样重要。

The fact is， the person for you will be imperfectly perfect. I believe that everybody can have lots of soulmates. And so often， for better or for worse， it comes down to timing， where two people are in their lives and being truly on the same page.

事实上，适合你的那个人并不完美。我相信每个人都会有很多灵魂伴侣。很多时候，不论是好是坏，都要归结到时间上。双方都在自己的生活里，也在同一时间线上。

People sometimes mistake the rush of excitement you experience when love is new with the feeling of connecting with a soulmate.

人们有时会把刚恋爱时的兴奋之情误认为是与灵魂伴侣在一起的感觉。

Chemistry is powerful， but if you too heavily on whether or not you are excited about someone， you may discount the very real possibilities of the kind of love that grows slowly， such as a friendship that ually becomes a lover relationship.

化学反应很强大，但是如果过分纠结自己到底有没有对某人感到兴奋，你就可能忽视缓慢积累的爱，比如最终发展为爱情的友情。

Connecting with a soulmate is about finding a person who sees you and loves you for who you truly are.

Joni Mitchell has a line in one of her songs that I love about love being like touching souls. Its really important to know what you mean by ‘soul’ in order to share yours with another person. This includes the soul as your authentic， ‘best version of yourself，’ as well as when soul includes a spiritual component.

What do you need from a partner， in terms of qualities that they demonstrate， in order to share who you are in a way that encourages connection， safety and trust？ Knowing your emotional needs intimately and emphasizing the qualities in a partner best suited to meet them is one way to connect to a soulmate.

本文相关词条概念解析：

伴侣

伴侣是同在一起生活、工作或旅行的人;亦指夫妻。也泛指夫妻或夫妻中的一方。

灵魂

人类学家之研究，推测距今二万五千年至五万年前之人类，已具有灵魂之观念，或人死后灵魂继续生活之观念。然大抵而言，原始人所具有的简单古朴之灵魂观念，往往含有强烈的物质性格。直至宗教、哲学渐次发达之后，人类之灵魂观始趋向非物质化之‘精神统一体’。例如某些宗教、哲学相信灵魂可以独存于肉体死亡以后，进而视之为不朽的精神实体。盖承认灵魂存在，虽一般被认为是人类生活之要素，能主宰人类之知觉与活动。据近代考古学为许多宗教、哲学、社会学所主张，然论及其特质、本源、究极，则有极大之分野。

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